SKETCHES 5ème / The school reports

THE SCHOOL REPORTS

by Svetlana Martimort, Aniola Aboh, Kenza Malamane

Family 1

Moonchild: Yo peace dad, yo peace mum ! Hey, guess what – I got my school report today !

Jena: Yo peace Moonchild, so let’s see it! 

Chris: Peace Moonchild ! Yeah, show us! ! !

Moonchild: Look I got nothing but two out of twenties! That’s not good.

Chris: No, baby, you’re wrong. Two is a groovy number, baby.

Jena: Yeah Moonchild. Two is COOOOOL! GROOOOVY! FAR OUT BABY!!! Two is the number of eyes we have; we’ve got two legs and two arms! Two hands. Two feet. Two ears.

Chris: Two is a sacred number baby.

Chris and Jena start singing a hippy number with a guitar – Two is a sacred number, yeah two is a sacred number

Moonchild: Yeah, OK. Whatever.

(Moonchild talking to audience) My parents are totally bonkers!

Moonchild: Ok guys, see you later - I’m going out with my boyfriend! 

Jena: Groovy! Enjoy yourself. Don’t come back too late!

Chris:Yeah, Moonchild, see you whenever ! Peace!

Family 2

Jean-Virgile: Hello mummy, hello daddy!

Jean-Claude: Hello son! So where is it?

Jean-Virgile: Where’s what, Daddy?

Jean-Claude: You know what I’m talking about!

Jacqueline: Yeah! Show us! Show us! Show us!

Jean-Virgile: Show you what ?

Jean-Claude and J together: THE SCHOOL REPORT

Jean-Virgile: Ohh, that! Here. I think you’ll find it’s pretty good.

Jean-Claude: Let’s see then. English 20. Good. French 20. Good. Maths 20. Good.

Suddenly Jean-Claude stops talking and looks shocked.

Jacqueline: What’s wrong, father?

Jean-Claude hands her the school report, she reads down through it and then she screams

Jacqueline : Aaaaaaaggghhhhhhhh. 19 in Science. Aaaaaghhhh!!!!

Jean-Claude: You disappoint me son. You have brought great shame upon our family. You must be punished.

Jacqueline : PUNISHED ! Go to your room. No food until you get a 20 in Science.

Jean-Virgile: You guys are crazy. Punished? For having a 19? And anyway, the next test is in two weeks. If I don’t eat before then, I’ll die of hunger.

Jacqueline: We’re your parents. You’ll do as you’re told. TO YOUR ROOM NOW. AND DON’T COME DOWN FOR TWO WEEKS!

Jean-Virgile: Yes mummy, yes daddy. Sorry.                                  THE END